The International Student House is an unflickering beacon of change. New residents cycle in twice a month and older residents shuffle out sporadically during each season as they continue to seek out professional success and personal satisfaction.

I recently began a new position as a Disability Integration Advisor for the Federal Emergency Management Agency (FEMA). FEMA has an ideology about adaptability fittingly referred to as being FEMA Flexible. The concept is simple, be aware of your surroundings, adapt to changing circumstances and adopt the most effective and ethical methods of accomplishing a task.

My position requires me to deploy to emergency zones and disaster areas across the country in an effort to coordinate disability integration as it relates to programmatic access, physical access and effective communication.

As with any new endeavor, discouraging thoughts and droplets of self-doubt are attempting to seep into my psyche. Nevertheless, I’ve learned that freedom can often be found within the folds of flexibility. With this in mind, I am reassured of my ability to withstand whatever winds may blow my way. Being flexible merely means that I may need to bend in order to accomplish my goals without having to break away from my primary objectives completely.

As I prepare for my first deployment, I do so with a tad of trepidation and a tremendous amount of tenacity.  I know that I am capable of conquering the challenges I will surely encounter. I am also curious and admittedly a bit nervous about the changes to come. I intend to embark on this new journey with several of my most trusted companions – creativity, charisma, courage, patience, persistence and faith. This crew has never failed me before and I am looking forward to using each of them to succeed in disaster situations and any future endeavors…or personal crises…or unexpected emergencies.

 

 

ISH residents tend to be pretty informed individuals. A casual conversation about art or culture can seamlessly turn into a discussion on global politics and international conflicts. These recent conversations, coupled with reflections from studying Peace and Post Conflict Reconciliation in Uganda and Rwanda, have led me to examine responses vs. reactions as a method of conflict resolution.

Over the years I’ve observed that emotions can be prone to sudden eruptions. These eruptions frequently disrupt relationships and can result in unforeseen consequences. A conflict between friends can easily emerge from a mistaken remark. A dispute between a government and its citizens or political opponents can deteriorate into a civil war with countless casualties. Whether we like it or not, conflicts can creep into every crevice of our lives and have the power to severely shape the world we live in.

Personally, I’ve made a conscious choice to respond rather than react to conflicts in my own life. What’s the difference? Well, I view responses through a prism of intentionality whereas I perceive reactions to be impulsive and ineffectual.

More specifically, reactions almost always require us to relinquish our power while simultaneously distorting priorities and one’s sense of purpose. When reacting in a conflict we are likely to be highly susceptible to whatever emotion that has been triggered by the situation whether it is fear, anger, frustration, confusion, guilt, shame, etc. If we are constantly reacting then inevitably someone else is controlling the situation via their actions or inaction. Reactions are made in the moment. They are steeped in spontaneity and lack strategic foresight and often pose barriers to sustainable solutions.

Contrastingly, responses are more results oriented. They incorporate your end goal or ultimate purpose/point. Thus, they are inherently proactive and self-directed. When responding to a conflict you consider how your next action will affect your primary objectives. You ask yourself questions such as:

• What is my main aim?
• What options and actions will actually lead to me calming or solving this conflict?
• What message do I want to send? Am I the right person to deliver this message? How can it be delivered receptively?
• Will this action get me any closer to my goals? If so, how? If not, what are the negative ways in which I might be affected?
• Is this even worth my time?
• How can I impact this situation in a way that will not only benefit me but will prevent others from dealing with this same conflict in the future?
• What can I do that will lead to an actual resolution rather than merely inflaming the situation?

It is important to note that responses do not require a tremendous amount of time. In many cases, the difference between a response and a reaction can be a few deep breaths. The distinction is simply acting with precision and purpose. This is particularly critical since conflicts are often injected with intense emotions that blur lines of consciousness, compassion and civility.

Simply stated, response equals intentional and impact driven actions. Reactions on the other hand equal in advert behaviors dictated/directed by the actions of others. So, the next time you’re in a conflict or feel conflicted about something, be purposeful in your actions and respond accordingly!

The spring season is upon us! The sun is shining, birds are chirping and several ISH-DC residents are diligently preparing for final semester exams, projects and presentations. Anxiety about life after graduation or stress associated with long hours of studying can majorly affect the mental, physical and emotional wellness of students.

So, I thought it might be fitting to provide a rhythmic remedy for some of those spring semester stressers! Below is what I like to refer to as the Justified Playlist. Each set of songs are accompanied by an example of scenarios where motivational melodies or music to get you in a positive mood might be needed.

Stop, Study Time!

That’s right, I just referenced MC Hammer!

Need some study tunes that will motivate you to finish a paper or prep for a presentation? Take a listen to some of these songs:

1. A Change Is Gon Come by Sam Cook
2. Don’t Stop Believing by Journey
3. Motivation by T.I.
4. Closer To My Dreams by Gaople
5. Can’t Give Up Now by Mary Mary
6. Pressure by Jonathan McRenolds
7. Imagine by Nico & Vinz
8. The Show Goes On by Lupe Fiasco

Who’s Bad?!

Michael Jackson posed this question nearly 3 decades ago and it deserves a response! Confused? First, pause from reading this and go listen to the song then come back once you realize the answer.  Don’t have time? Fine I’ll just tell you. The answer is YOU! Bad by Michael Jackson made all types of people around the world feel good and to believe they were the best and baddest at whatever they chose to do.

This next set of songs is for anyone who needs to regain their confidence. Insecurities about the future or that project you turned in last week might have your spirits low and your overall self-esteem even lower. Not to worry, grab some headphones and begin to blast any of the following hits for some much needed ego boosters!

1. Diva by Beyoncé
2. I’m Coming Out by Diana Ross
3. Power by Kanye West
4. Conquer by Empire Cast
5. Lovely by Sarah Haze
6. When The Day Comes by Nico & Vinz

#Winning

Now that we’ve provided adequate motivation and have effectively elevated your ego, playlist preparations for graduation celebrations and end of the year festivities can commence!

Check out the songs below for tracks that will make you meaningfully reflect on a job well done this year, or for tunes to turn up and dance the night away in recognition of your scholastic successes!

1. Let Me Clear My Throat by DJ Kool
2. Good Life by One Republic
3. Wing Again by Nicki Minaj
4. I Was Here by Beyoncé
5. How It Feels To Fly by Alicia Keys
6. Legend by Drake
7. Big Rings by Drake & Future
8. You Make Me Feel Good by Satin Jackets
9. Beautiful by India Arie
10. The Greatest by R. Kelly

Regardless of what songs you serenade yourself with this season, remember that when things get difficult sometimes you just need to dance it out and rock out to your own beat!  Create your own sounds this spring with your personality, perspectives and passion!

As children we are taught to avoid and fear strangers. We are indoctrinated with a philosophy of “stranger danger”. We have learned to keep safe distances from those who display visual signs of abnormal behavior or expressions of perceived aggression. Over time these ideologies that were initially intended to protect and shield us from truly dangerous situations also create an intolerance that isolates and discriminates against those deemed to be too different. Those who possess personalities and experiences foreign to that of our own personal understanding. Those whose very existence causes us to examine new concepts of love, ability, gender, family, race, class, equality, justice and freedom.

As a resident of the International Student House I am introduced to strangers at least twice a month. These people eventually become beloved housemates. Our daily interactions serve as catalysts for in depth connections and the creation of an eclectic yet endlessly compassionate community. Getting to know strangers is a habitual practice during meals and chance encounters while spending time in communal spaces such as the Great Hall, garden or the game room. In a place where all residents are away from home, strangers at ISH swiftly become like family and friendships are quickly cultivated and deeply cherished.

Befriending strangers has been my secret to surviving and thriving in new places/spaces. When I studied abroad in South Africa, Uganda and Rwanda I relied on the kindness of other students to assist me with overcoming challenges associated with my visual impairment. These students were strangers at the beginning of the programs but had transformed into lifelong friends at the conclusion of each course. I rely on strangers each day when using car services to get to and from work, meetings and appointments. Strangers often offer to assist me with directions, reading written menus/signs and a myriad of other visual tasks. In short, I have come to trust in the kindness of strangers. This in no way means that I am not cautious or constantly aware of my surroundings and the people in it. It does however mean that I am unwilling to cease being active and engaged with people I don’t know. To the contrary, it ignites an eagerness within me to learn more about new people from new places who are capable of teaching me new life principles.

Interested in learning how we treat strangers at ISH? This is a roughly universal method of interacting with strangers at ISH:

Hello….

What’s your name?

Where are you from?

What are you doing in DC? School? Internship? Work?

Oh that’s cool….

Conversation continues, similar experiences are discovered, connections are made, friendships are found and community is strengthened.

ISH is a spell bounding place comprised of eclectic and curious individuals many of whom possess an -everlasting love of literature. I am no exception. I read all the time and I mean this quite literally. I listen to books while eating, washing, cleaning, walking, waiting, working and whenever I need to mentally escape to another place, space or time. I often share what I’m reading with other ISH residents and thought it would be fitting to begin sharing my favorite books each month via this blog. I will only include 4 of my top books read over the past month but will gladly provide additional recommendations to any interested readers!

Citizen: An American Lyric by Claudia Rankine

Citizen is a remarkable read comprised of profoundly poetic prose. Each of the short essays evoke images of commonly shared experiences amid those in the Black community. Complex subjects such as micro aggression, overt racism, social-awareness and self-consciousness are exquisitely yet easily explained through short captivating pieces.  I believe most readers will find this book to be relatable, realistic and reflective of the way we view and validate each other in this country.

Our Kind of People by Lawrence Otis Graham

Our Kind of People chronicles the history, culture and traditions of upper class African American families. Contrary to popular belief, the upper echelon of Black society has existed for well over a century and is still thriving all across America. The book discusses the good, bad and disheartening aspects of this insular world which is primarily built on qualifying features such as skin color, status, family lineages, educational accolades and social affiliations. The author grants readers a rare glimpse into an aspect of American society that is often criticized envied, Applauded and seldom fully understood. Full of personal reflections and social observations, this book is definitely a must read for anyone interested in learning more about the origins of America’s high class Black society.

Radiance of Tomorrow by Ishmael Beah

This novel follows the lives of residents returning to their city following a 7 year war in Sierra Leone. Written in a deeply cultural and figurative style, this book will certainly hold your attention captive. The author expertly weaves together critical issues involving environmental degradation, traditional customs, corruption, war crimes, grief, family, community and resilience. I would recommend this riveting read to anyone interested in gaining a greater understanding of the multidimensional aspects of rebuilding an entire life and rekindling the love of living.

I am Malala by Malala Yousafzai 

I read this riveting book with fellow ISH resident Katherine Haugh. We both found Malala’s story to be insightful and immensely inspirational. Her unwavering advocacy for girl’s education compels you to seriously consider exploring the fullest capacity of your academic pursuits. The intensity of her personal journey is mirrored by her fierceness for educational equality. A great read for those who would like to learn what it means to risk one’s own life in order to help others live more fully and freely.

Do you have a book you think should be featured on the blog? Let me know! I would love to receive your recommendations!